FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH: A Roll Into Consciousness (part 5 in the series Speaking of Multiple Realities)
By Christopher Worth
The sound of traffic whirling by. The screeching of brakes, the smell of burning rubber, the glance of an eye as I briskly move past them. In that moment, my nostrils catch the smell of a perfume. I feel the fabric of a person's shirt as they move past me, slightly nudging me. The traffic robotically hums along. I feel my heartbeat, and my awareness of the need to keep moving. Past pizza shops, tshirt stands, newspaper men, the lights flashing red and green and yellow, and I stop for a brief moment to hail the bus and then push on.
A constant thing that's on my mind is how moments of interaction play into our understanding of self. How much does brushing up against someone tell us about someone. Does that moment of action affect what happens seconds, minutes, hours, days, or years later? Is every moment of our history, past present and future, connected to our present self? In previous writings within this series, I have attempted to draw the picture of humanity consciousness as an interconnected system. The description of this became very abstract and fanciful. But I argue that 90% of consciousness, true unadulterated consciousness, exists on planes and in worlds which we create, and to the outside world they will seem fantastic. But in order to explore any question of man's being, one must be able to engage in the building of pictures and the shaping of consciousness. All humans do this, but not all are aware that they do it to the point where they can exert power over the shaping.
When I am moving down a busy street and come across new sensations I am aware that I am collecting and gathering from the world around me in the construction of my reality, so that when I brush up against someone, glance at someone, or yes, even stare at them, I am entering that person's sphere of influence. I somehow begin to know them in that brief moment of passing. My world, the shaping of time to come, is affected. Note that I think that even the past is affected. If the interaction with a person/place/thing is substantial enough, It can affect my view of all my life and change the course of the path that I am on.
Almost two years ago now, I was run over by an SUV. That morning started out as any other. I did my exercises, ate my breakfast, took my shower, picked my clothes out and dressed with the help of my aide…life ticked along. As I was headed toward the door I can remember thinking about my abnormal psychology class and how it was going. As I moved away from my house my helper called out to me to be careful I can't remember anything beyond that, because that morning I almost died. He didn't see me as he turned the corner. In fact, he couldn't even feel me. He dragged me for 20 feet. My interaction with that man, his vehicle, his guilt, my recovery, and all the people I met along the way who helped me in that recovery changed my life. I got a glimpse at what it takes to live a life and how difficult it is to begin again.
It was said that when I was rolled over by the first respondents, my eyes were open. They asked me my name and if I was okay. They got no words in response, just a river of blood. Something about that morning changed my life, but it's not the accident or where the accident put my physically. It's the moments of interaction that have built a new stream of consciousness for me, allowing me to be more relaxed, more engaged, and in that engagement more self aware. I sometime think about those first hands that touched me while laying in that pool of blood and how much of them I am carrying with me. The thing is, these days I think that about most everything I do. How does that glance affect me? What is that person going through? It's as though I roll around the city of Huntington completely aware of the electrical impulses shooting through my body. Aware of the cosmic charges…aware of what each glance, what every interaction provides me. I'm quite sure that every person on this planet has a connection to me. Note that this is not a religious idea, a social idea, or a psychological idea even though all those things play into it. More importantly, it is a physical truth.
That's where we begin. The physical world is the only thing we have to help us construct our interior realities. Now, interior realities can in fact become just as physical as the hand brushing up against me. We must start, first with the idea that we are the salt of the earth, and then it all spins out from there. My brother, who I became very close to especially after the accident, always says that I am not physically challenged, that I do not have that normal frame of reference, and that because of that fact I move through the world with more ease than some people that have cerebral palsy of my severity.
It is too easy to say that it's all about my state of mind. Although I've heard that many times, the truth is I get bogged down like anyone in my situation who has to deal with wheelchair issues, physical issues, social issues, etc. Where I think I differ is not that I am always looking on the bright side, but that I understand the power of the mind to shape reality. Note that I do not have a complete understanding. That comes with time and/or age for anyone. What I do understand is that this body I am born into is not my full self. This city that I live in is not my full self. And the people that I hang around with? Even those whom I deeply love do not define me fully. The thing that makes me different than other people in my situation is that I seek a life that connects me to all things and that I understand my value in the world beyond the mundane everyday.
For what it's worth, even I have had to be woken up to this fact. But upon awakening, I understand that if people saw the value in the every day, if they understood their power in interacting in the world, we would have either great systems of tyranny (which would take over our lives) or the great systems of liberation and self determination would flourish. Because in the end, our connection to everything is more powerful than we are as individuals standing and/or sitting alone.